


Actions Speak Louder

by prxnxykxi



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mute Dan Howell, Past Sexual Abuse, Pastel Dan and Punk Phil, Selective Mustism, Selective Mute Dan Howell, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-23 03:24:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11394369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prxnxykxi/pseuds/prxnxykxi
Summary: Dan Howell was diagonsed with Selective Mutism at age 14, just before his 15th birthday.Phil Lester...well, there's nothing wrong with Phil. Except his undying love for a certain curly haired brunette.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so uh...theres this i guess. sorry about it. its kinda shit, and deals with some heavy things so...Trigger Warning, i guess.

_ Dan sat in the corner of his room, trembling and clutching his knees to his chest. His shirt lay crumpled in a pile near the mattress his uncle had pressed him down on. His jeans lay strewn across the room, a metre from where he sat, tears running down his still chubby cheeks. He was fourteen. The chub should’ve gone by now. But he guessed that was why this had happened.  _

 

_ He’d told his mum, and he’d told his dad, that he shouldn’t be left alone with Uncle Alec. He was scared of Uncle Alec. The man always had a creepy vibe, especially when he was with Dan.  _

 

_ But his parents had said it was fine. And he trusted his parents, so, with their permission, Uncle Alec agreed to stay with Dan for the weekend.  _

 

_ The first day had been fine. Dan had watched telly all morning while Uncle Alec flipped pancakes on the stove, then, in the afternoon, they went out on the town. Uncle Alec bought Dan ice cream - chocolate, as Uncle Alec had insisted it was the best flavour. Afterward, they went to the park, where Uncle Alec let Dan make him a flower crown, something the boy was exceptionally good at. Dan found it all rather juvenile, but he enjoyed spending time with the not-so-creepy Uncle Alec.  _

 

_ Sunday wasn’t so perfect. Dan had spent the most of the morning watching telly again, listening to Uncle Alec fumble around in his parents room. At least, that’s where Dan assumed he was. When he decided it was time to get ready for the day, he made his way to his bedroom, finding Uncle Alec standing near his mattress.  _

 

_ ‘What’re you doing, Uncle Alec?’ Dan had asked, feeling that familiar lump in his throat he normally got when around Uncle Alec.  _

 

_ ‘Don’t worry about it, Danny. Why don’t you come over here?’ Uncle Alec had replied. It wasn’t a choice, though, Dan knew that.  _

 

_ Slowly, Dan made his way to Uncle Alec’s side. That’s when his uncle had pushed him down, forcing his clothing off. Dan blacked out after that. Or, at least he thought he did. The thing was, he remembered everything that had happened that day. _

 

_ When Dan’s parents had returned home the next day, Uncle Alec was nowhere to be seen. Dan had lied for him, said he’d gone home early to take care of his own daughter. They rarely saw him after that, only at family gatherings and holidays. And each time, he would send Dan a knowing look.  _

 

_ Shortly thereafter, Dan stopped talking. He was diagnosed with selective mutism - more or less - less than a year later.  _

 

**_***_ **

 

 

_ It didn’t take long for Dan to accept the ‘shy boy’ persona. He wore pastel colours, lots of purples, blues and greys, and made flower crowns nearly everyday. Other kids labeled him weird, and by the end of year twelve, he’d earned the nickname ‘cake-eater’. It was slang for ‘homosexual’ back in the 1920’s, which Dan found old fashioned. Still, it stung.  _

 

**_***_ **

__   
__   
Somehow, Dan had gotten into contact with a few University students, who invited him to a party that night at someone’s flat. And, despite everything, despite Dan refusing to talk, he’d agreed. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey its your friendly neighbourhood piece of shit back with another chapter of this. sorry i havent been updating, lots of stuff going on. 
> 
> im going to california in a couple days for about a week, so i'm hoping to get some more stuff done then. change of environment and what not. 
> 
> anyway, here's this. thanks.

Phil weaved his way through the crowd, red solo cup held above his head as not to spill it. He had no idea how he’d gotten roped into this party, probably something to do with Chris’ brainwashing tricks. The guy always got Phil into these awful situations. Maybe awful wasn’t the proper word, but right now, Phil would rather be curled up in his flat, watching a movie on Netflix with a piping hot cuppa tea.

 

But here he was, making his way toward some scared looking kid clad in an oversized pastel grey jumper and black skinny jeans. His sneakers, like most people Phil had seen dressing like this, were Converse, a slightly darker shade of grey. Towering over him was one of the jock guys Phil had seen around campus, dirty blond hair and greyish-green eyes. 

 

“What the hell is your problem, kid? Don’t you watch where you’re going?” the jock growled, his cup crinkling slightly under his slowly tightening grip. 

 

The kid, who was now wide eyed and near tears, shook his head, swallowing thickly. He opened his mouth, but only a small squeak came out. 

 

“Hey!” Phil said, tapping the jock on the shoulder. “What’da think you’re doing?” 

 

The jock turned, looking Phil up and down. Behind him, he noticed the pastel kid doing the same thing. Honestly, he wasn’t surprised. He must look a sight, with his piercings, and his minimal assortment of tattoos littering his arms and up his neck. 

 

“Teachin’ that kid a lesson about watchin’ his step, especially in my house.” the jock chuckled. 

 

Ah, so that’s why he was here. Chris was in with the crowd that hung out with the owner of this place, and that must mean jocks. 

 

“He looks like he’s sixteen, dude. Back off, alright?” Phil huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and raising a disapproving brow. 

 

The jock scoffed and shook his head, giving a small ‘whatever, dude’ as he walked off. 

 

Once he’d gone, Phil turned to the kid, flashing a small smile. “You alright?”

 

The kid nodded slightly, gaping up at Phil. Phil let out a small laugh, raising a brow. “Is...everything alright? You seem…” he trailed off, tilting his head as the boy quickly fumbled for his phone. 

 

Phil watched as the boy opened the notes in his phone, quickly typing out something before turning the screen to Phil. 

 

**‘You’re Phil Lester.’** read the sentence. 

 

Phil chuckled, shaking his head to himself and smiling. This guy must’ve been a fan. “Yeah, that’s me.” he paused for a moment before speaking again. “You mute or something?” he asked. 

 

The boy looked almost offended that Phil had been so blunt, but then again, he was a bit harsh with the question. But, before Phil could apologise, the boy was tapping out another line on his phone. 

 

**‘Selective.’** it said. 

 

Phil nodded, chewing the inside of his cheek as he thought of a way around this. He then held out his hand, waiting for the boy to hand over his phone. He did, a bit too quickly for Phil’s liking.  _ ‘Probably just excited to be getting my number’  _ thought Phil. 

 

When he handed the brunette’s phone back, he immediately went to text him. Phil laughed to himself.  _ ‘Definitely excited then.’ _

 

A buzz in his pocket brought him from admiring the boy’s eyes - chocolate brown, glinting against the faint light of the room. Phil yanked his phone from his pocket, grinning at the text. 

 

**_‘I’m Dan.’_ **

 

Phil smiled, glancing at Dan before returning to his messages. 

 

**_‘Nice to meet you. I’m phil, obviously.’_ **

**_read_ **

Dan giggled, shaking his head at his phone. 

 

**_‘Im aware.’_ **

  
  


**_‘Are you really 16?’_ **

**_read_ **

**_‘No. 18.’_ **

 

**_‘Do you need a place to crash tonight?’_ **

**_read_ **

 

**_‘If you wouldnt mind’_ **

 

**_‘I wouldnt ;)’_ **

**_read_ **

 

Phil looked up from his phone, smiling and Dan and holding his arm out. “C’mon then, you can stay with me tonight.” 

  
Dan blushed, looping his arm with Phil’s. The older lead them through the crowd, listening to the small squeaks Dan let out when he brushed by someone. Phil grinned to himself.  _ ‘Adorable.’ _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aye guess whos actually finished something for once (yes this chapter is a bit shitty fight me, mates) 
> 
> hope you enjoyed.

Four months and a lot of overnighters later, Dan was moved into Phil’s flat. He didn’t have his own room. No, the spare room was converted to a piano-slash-filming-slash-gaming room. Phil had purchased a new bed frame, this one big enough for two people rather than one. 

 

Dan still refused to speak, though they worked around it. The communicated mostly through texting, though they had both picked up a few things in sign language here and there. Those were mostly the ‘I love you’s’ and the ‘goodnights’ though. 

 

Throughout the few months that Dan had been with Phil, he’d begun to come out of his shell a bit. There were times when Phil thought Dan might say something to him, but it always ended in a small sigh or him disappearing to the piafilaming (their name for the piano-filming-gaming room) room. Not that Phil minded. Dan’s playing was beautiful, and Dan was allowed to take whatever time he needed.

 

*******

 

Dan sat, his back resting against Phil’s side with Phil’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. Against his knees rested a book, nearly all the way done. Phil sat with his back against the couch, aimlessly scrolling through the Netflix suggestions. The two were clad in their pyjamas - Dan’s being a pastel pink jumper and a pair of Phil’s sweatpants while Phil’s consisted of a pair of cookie monster bottoms and a loose grey tee-shirt.

 

“Dan, help please?” Phil whined, turning his head to bury his nose in the back of his boyfriend’s hair. Dan mocked Phil’s whine in return, smirking at the pages of his book.

 

“You’re no help.” Phil huffed, chuckling when Dan shook his head. 

 

A few more minutes of silence passed before Phil whined and, once again, buried his nose into Dan’s curls. They sat like this, with Phil reading along with Dan over his shoulder, and Dan occasionally turning his head to glance at Phil. 

 

It was about five minutes later when Phil heard a small mutter from the other boy. Phil sat up slightly, his eyebrows raised. 

 

“Dan?” he asked quietly. 

 

Dan turned to Phil, a small smile creeping over his face. His lips moved again. “I love you.” he said, voice coming out raspy and barely audible, as it hadn’t been used in years. 

 

Phil’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re…”  _ ‘talking. You’re talking’  _ Phil thought, unable to finish his sentence. Dan repeated this sentence a few times, his voice getting a bit louder with each statement. 

 

Phil covered his mouth, his heart pounding and his stomach leaping to his throat. “I love you too.” he murmured, turning Dan around and kissing him gently. 

 

When they broke away from each other, Dan smiled brightly at Phil. “I love you.” he whispered again. Phil said nothing in return, pulling Dan into another kiss.


End file.
